Unoriginally original

Recently, I got a call from a family member, she’s nearing 85, can barely walk, but has the sharpest memory of anyone I know. This is how the conversation went:

Her: Pooja? 

Me: Hi ! How are you?

Her: Good, just the usual. Pooja, I wanted to ask you something.

Me: Ya, ask what happened?

Her: Do you want to get married?

Me: Hahaha

Her: *super serious* Stop laughing. I want you to answer this question because I know this boy who would be a great match for you!

Me: Erm….I am really not

*cuts me off*

Her: He’s working in London, he’s actually from ‘X’ city. He’s tall – He is 6 feet 2 inches so you both will look so good together!! He’s even the same colour as you!! You’ll make a lovely couple.

Me: Hahaha! Same colour?! Are you serious!? I am really not interested in getting married, I want to focus on my job.

–silence–

She: Okay. Well, think about it, he’s a very good guy and this is the age you should get married or all the good ones will disappear. So tell me, is it a yes or a no.

Me: I’ll let you know when I am ready to get married. But it’s a no.

Her: Give the phone to your mom.

Okay, so this is how arranged marriages work. 😛 This conversation really made me realise how archaic this whole thing was. I am sure the boy is lovely but that doesn’t mean I get married to him! Based on what? His height and skin tone?! How can you spend the rest of your life with someone based on these superficial things? I guess I was just shocked at how unoriginal and nonchalant she was with trying to convince me about a decision that would change my whole life.

I have nothing against arranged marriages, but maybe more with the idea of getting married. Marriage is a scary thing, from what I’ve seen and have been told, it isn’t all that it is made out to be. Honestly, I don’t get the urgency and unnecessary pressure with the whole your-biological-clock-is-ticking-so-you-must-get-married thing; it just does not make any sense to me. Especially, when they are so many children in this world who desperately need a loving family, why add to the problem? I know more unhappy than happily married couples. Maybe I am just surrounded by unhappy couples, but, why take the risk ? 😛

I am sure one day I will get married, and have my happy little family, with 2 cats, 1 puppy, 2 kids and my best friend/husband. But, only when I am ready, not because someone else (/society) says I should.

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7 comments

  1. nathaswami · October 11

    But that’s the norm in India. I saw my bride for the first time on my wedding day. Some brokers also make a kill by arranging marriages. Some times they give a rosy picture of the bride-to-be and the groom gets a shock of his life on the day of wedding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 3ckthoughtsandthings · October 12

      It’s like signing a deal in the dark, neither have any clue of what’s to come 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • nathaswami · October 12

        Exactly. We have to depend upon the wisdom of our parents.

        Like

        • 3ckthoughtsandthings · October 12

          At the end of the day, you have to live with your own decisions. Whether good or bad, at least you won’t have anyone else to blame 🙂 But of course parents can guide us too.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. sasha · October 11

    This is such a good post..even I’m facing the same issue with some shitty relatives😐..anyway good post🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sonia D'Costa · October 11

    Well … that’s what most of us are like in India. Fortunately, it never happened to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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