Unoriginally original

Recently, I got a call from a family member, she’s nearing 85, can barely walk, but has the sharpest memory of anyone I know. This is how the conversation went:

Her: Pooja? 

Me: Hi ! How are you?

Her: Good, just the usual. Pooja, I wanted to ask you something.

Me: Ya, ask what happened?

Her: Do you want to get married?

Me: Hahaha

Her: *super serious* Stop laughing. I want you to answer this question because I know this boy who would be a great match for you!

Me: Erm….I am really not

*cuts me off*

Her: He’s working in London, he’s actually from ‘X’ city. He’s tall – He is 6 feet 2 inches so you both will look so good together!! He’s even the same colour as you!! You’ll make a lovely couple.

Me: Hahaha! Same colour?! Are you serious!? I am really not interested in getting married, I want to focus on my job.

–silence–

She: Okay. Well, think about it, he’s a very good guy and this is the age you should get married or all the good ones will disappear. So tell me, is it a yes or a no.

Me: I’ll let you know when I am ready to get married. But it’s a no.

Her: Give the phone to your mom.

Okay, so this is how arranged marriages work. πŸ˜› This conversation really made me realise how archaic this whole thing was. I am sure the boy is lovely but that doesn’t mean I get married to him! Based on what? His height and skin tone?! How can you spend the rest of your life with someone based on these superficial things? I guess I was just shocked at how unoriginal and nonchalant she was with trying to convince me about a decision that would change my whole life.

I have nothing against arranged marriages, but maybe more with the idea of getting married. Marriage is a scary thing, from what I’ve seen and have been told, it isn’t all that it is made out to be. Honestly, I don’t get the urgency and unnecessary pressure with the whole your-biological-clock-is-ticking-so-you-must-get-married thing; it just does not make any sense to me. Especially, when they are so many children in this world who desperately need a loving family, why add to the problem? I know more unhappy than happily married couples. Maybe I am just surrounded by unhappy couples, but, why take the risk ? πŸ˜›

I am sure one day I will get married, and have my happy little family, with 2 cats, 1 puppy, 2 kids and my best friend/husband. But, only when I am ready, not because someone else (/society) says I should.

7 comments

  1. nathaswami · October 11, 2016

    But that’s the norm in India. I saw my bride for the first time on my wedding day. Some brokers also make a kill by arranging marriages. Some times they give a rosy picture of the bride-to-be and the groom gets a shock of his life on the day of wedding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 3ckthoughtsandthings · October 12, 2016

      It’s like signing a deal in the dark, neither have any clue of what’s to come πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • nathaswami · October 12, 2016

        Exactly. We have to depend upon the wisdom of our parents.

        Like

        • 3ckthoughtsandthings · October 12, 2016

          At the end of the day, you have to live with your own decisions. Whether good or bad, at least you won’t have anyone else to blame πŸ™‚ But of course parents can guide us too.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. sasha · October 11, 2016

    This is such a good post..even I’m facing the same issue with some shitty relatives😐..anyway good postπŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sonia D'Costa · October 11, 2016

    Well … that’s what most of us are like in India. Fortunately, it never happened to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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