Here we go (again)

I find my mind in overdrive once again. So many thoughts, yet stringing a sentence together seems nearly impossible.
Maybe, it’s the familiarity creeping in, the hours in traffic, the job stress, and of course the personal life.
Somehow every different decision I take feels like I always end up in the same place.
And to top it all off, the #metoo movement.
My brain does a great job of repressing even the most terrible memories. Almost as if they never happened. It’s not a good thing. People end up getting way too many chances in the process and stay longer than they should.
Maybe, reading all these posts about women and men openly talking about their perpetrators, in most cases, people they trusted dearly, is giving me flashbacks of things my brain had done a good job of erasing (read: repressing).
The breach of trust is at the core of it all.
At the ripe old of 26, I find myself trusting people even less. I don’t even give them the benefit of doubt anymore. It’s almost as I know they will do something to mess it up. And sadly, they always do.
This new wave of no-fucks-given attitude is great in theory. However, just like you don’t care about the things that are not worth it, you end up not caring about the things that are.
I know this post is a bit all over the place. It has been a while since I’ve felt the urge to write and I’m glad I did. I hope the next one is a bit more coherent and less of a mess. Pretty much like how my mind is at the moment.
~ P xo

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