Is it just me, or has this lockdown been driving everyone crazy? I guess I had hit rock bottom pretty early, which I think was a blessing in disguise. I feel in face first in the pit of despair and luckily had enough time to figure out what steps I had to take to come out of it. Working out, therapy, and playing games online have helped tremendously! What did not help though, not even one bit, was social media.
It seemed like everyone had their shit together – people do such a great job pretending, right? When in fact everyone was struggling. It was only when I reached out to friends did I realize, damn, we really are all in the same boat.
I’ve been generously muting and unfollowing accounts. I realized a lot of the accounts I was following was only adding to my anxiety. It felt good decluttering. The accounts I could not unfollow, I muted. I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to see another – “Look what I’ve made!”, “Look how sweaty I am post-workout!” ” Look how together I’m keeping it during this global crisis!”, posts anymore.
Another thing, I was struggling with was being friends with exes. I tried it, failed miserably. This only works for certain kinds of people and if you are one of them, I congratulate you. No, really. Don’t teach me your ways and I don’t even want to know your story. All I know is that it doesn’t work for me. And I’ve made my peace with it. Social media doesn’t help with this either. The constant reminders of your last lover’s song recommendations or the memes they now post, which would once be a DM – this only creates more confusion to my already confused mind. Yes, it is exhausting in here.
Social media is truly the worst and I wish I can have a healthier relationship with it. I go through digital detoxes, often, but with limited success. It’s stressful and I wish I could just not know and not want to know, either. A friend did tell me something very insightful, “Maybe, you don’t have a toxic relationship with social media. Maybe, you have a toxic relationship with the people on there.” True. Very true. In that case, I will try my best to mute, ignore, and move on. What else can one do?