Warning: This post is a (semi) rant about millennials by a millennial.
Destiny is something you can’t control, but the choices you make decide your fate. Have you ever wondered, if that specific thing didn’t happen to you, how differently your life would have played out? The tiny choices you make in your every day life, are what add up to be consequential in the long run.
Recently, I was having drinks with my cousin sister and her friends. They were all in their 40s – one of them was a single mother, while the rest were married with kids. When my cousin enquired about her single friend’s dating life, she responded by saying, “It’s going alright, yaar. When you get to our age, only the uncle types are left, and the ones I like seem to be such weirdos, which I only seem to realize much later! All my millennial colleagues tell me I should just ‘go with the flow’, so that’s what I am doing now.”
Until she said it, I didn’t realize how millennial ‘going with the flow’ actually is! I am guilty of this and so are many other millennials I know – as a generation, we’ve trademarked this as our own.
It’s almost as if we are scared to make a choice and stick to it, so going with the flow is the easiest cop-out if things do go South. It’s then much easier to feel as if things weren’t in our control to begin with! Are we all just a bunch of kids, pretending to be adults, scared to make decisions that could possibly change the narrative of our lives forever? Are we scared to commit to a particular decision, because, lo and behold, what if we change our minds later on and don’t want to feel stuck? Or even worse, feel like we’ve failed.
Relationships are hard. They take a lot of time and energy, and if you want them to work, just like anything else in life, you need to give it your 100%. Somehow, we 20-somethings, give 100% to our career, friends and families, but when it comes to our dating lives, it’s just going with the flow, and then we wonder why it never worked out. Or we go with the flow, not realizing how toxic certain relationships can actually be.
It’s time to be more pro-active, instead of this hoping for the best attitude. This also seeps into other aspects of our lives. I know a lot of people that are stuck in jobs that they hate, because they are ‘going with the flow’.
Personally, what my cousin’s friend said was like the comet that produced alternate realities in the movie Coherence. Just imagine for a moment, there is person just like you, existing in an alternative reality, living a life they have created because of all the choices they’ve consciously made (by not going with the flow!). Enough of being passive, it’s time to take back the control of our own lives and live in the reality we want! As one of my best friends once told me, be decisive, even when it seems risky.
Besides, there is nothing sexier than a person who knows exactly what they want!